As a pregnant woman, attending prenatal appointments, you may feel a little off if the baby is not intended to be yours. If you’ve made the decision to place your baby for adoption while you are still pregnant, navigating the pregnancy checkups and planning the delivery may cause a little anxiety. In today’s post, we want to take some time to discuss what you can expect from the pregnancy and birthing process.
At AIM Adoptions, we are a Houston-based adoption agency serving most of Texas. We offer resources to pregnant mothers and hopeful families, and can help you through the challenging time of facing an unwanted pregnancy, the birth of the child, and navigating the adoption process.
Anticipating the Delivery
When it comes to the delivery of the baby, whether you have already completed the adoption process and have a waiting family ready to take your baby into their loving arms, or you have just begun thinking about adoption, it can be an event shrouded in uncertainty. If you are a young mother and this is your first pregnancy and baby, you may be facing even more uncertainty by not knowing what to expect from labor, delivery, and birth. If this is not your first birth, you may be feeling a little anxious about what will happen to you and the baby during the process. These feelings are normal, but we are here to help!
One of the most important things you need to understand is that this is your delivery and you are in charge. During the labor and delivery, your birthing team will be caring for you in the same manner they would if you were keeping the baby. You are the patient and you are the focus, the health and safety of both you and the baby will be their primary concern. In the delivery room, there will be a separate team there to care for the baby, there will be no gaps in your care. Once the baby has been delivered, you will be treated as two separate patients, attended to equally.
What to Consider For Your Birth Plan
First things first, despite our best-laid plans, the birthing process goes on its own plan, so don’t put too much stock into following your birth plan to a T! The purpose of the birth plan is for you to consider different aspects of the birthing process that you may not have thought about and communicate them to your birthing team. This helps you know what to anticipate and better help your medical team care for you in alignment with your wishes. It also helps reduce the need for you to make decisions under stressful conditions. While it may be tempting to borrow a birth plan template from a friend or off of an internet search, it is important to make a plan unique to you, your needs, and your situation.
A few things to consider when drafting your birth plan include:
The surroundings and environment during the labor and birth process.
There are many laboring options that range from a clinical setting in a hospital to a home birth with a doula, and everything in between. You can elect to have your music playing, labor in a bath, and you have the choice of who is present. You can choose to have a birth partner like a friend or parent, and you can choose whether or not the intended parents are present at the time of birth. Remember, the labor and delivery process is yours and just because you are placing the baby for adoption does not mean that anyone else can make decisions for you.
Laboring will get uncomfortable, so it is important to consider your ideas regarding pain management before the pain is unbearable. You can elect to have an epidural, nitrous oxide (laughing gas), IV pain medication, hypnobirthing, or a variety of non-medicinal pain control methods including massage, meditation, etc. Talk with your doctor or midwife about your options.
As we mentioned earlier, despite our best-laid plans, pregnancy and birth are processes that seem to have a mind of their own and may take their own course. It is always a good idea to have a backup plan so that, in the event your birth plan is derailed, you can still feel comfortable. Consider having a backup birthing partner, and consider alternative scenarios, including visiting a birthing center if you plan to deliver at home and something doesn’t feel right or talking to your provider about what may happen if you have to have an emergency c-section. The more you consider, the more confident you will be on delivery day. The last thing you or your baby need is additional stress.
Postpartum baby care.
Once the delivery is complete and your baby is born, you’ll want your care team to know how you want the postpartum phase to play out. Keep in mind, this can be flexible too. If you have already selected an intended family, you can discuss the options with them and do what makes sense for everyone. Just keep in mind that things may change in the moment, and that’s okay. Some things to consider include:
- Do you want to do skin-to-skin?
- Do you want the baby cared for in your room or immediately taken to the nursery?
- Do you want to see/hold the baby?
- Who is making medical decisions for the baby? This will be decided before birth and will have a lot to do with the adoption process you have chosen.
Get the Support You Need at AIM Adoptions
At AIM Adoptions, we are here to support you through every phase of your pregnancy and will advocate for the best interests of you and your baby. Our compassionate staff can discuss the difficult things with you and help you discover the best path. If you have placed your baby for adoption and have selected a family by the time of the birth, we can act as a liaison between you and the intended parents. For more information or to get the support you need, contact us today.