A lot of focus and emphasis has been placed on helping adoptive parents. In fact, there are many resources out there for adoptive parents, such as numerous support groups. However, birth mothers historically have been neglected. That is, their wants and needs have been shoved under a rug in the face of the stigma of often being a young, unwed woman who has found herself with an unplanned pregnancy. As the bearer of the child, the burden lies solely on her shoulders.
Luckily, in the last decade or two, the emphasis is beginning to shift and birth mothers are having more of a say in the adoptive process. Birth mothers often opt for open adoptions, which is where they still get to see their child and have some sort of contact/relationship with them. They often are intimately involved in the selection process of the adoptive parents, frequently having the last word. Furthermore, their wishes are honored for the birth of the baby as well, deciding if she wants the adoptive parents there or not.
If you are a mother, can you even imagine handing over a baby whom you have grown for nine months to someone you don’t know? This in and of itself takes a strength and a courage that frankly, many women do not have. The final hand-off where you have to say goodbye to the baby you have only just met is the hardest.
AIM Adoptions is an adoption agency in Houston that specializes in helping birth mothers with unplanned pregnancies who opt for adoption find a loving family. We allow the birth mother to choose whether she wants an open or a closed adoption, as well as select the adoptive family. Our mission is to come alongside these strong women as they make one of the most difficult decisions in their lives. In this blog post, we’ll explore tips for birth mothers on how to handle this emotional process. Contact us today to get started!
TIPS TO HAND OVER YOUR BABY AFTER THE BIRTH
Think Long and Hard About How You Want To Spend Your Precious Hours With Your Baby
As a birth mother, you’ve experienced a wide range of emotions, from happiness and joy when you found a great adoptive family to sadness and grief at giving up a part of yourself. No one else can truly understand what it’s like to give up a baby you’ve carried for nine months, but other birth mothers.
Thus, AIM Adoptions in Houston recommends that you should think long and hard about the time you do have with your baby immediately after birth. Sometimes, this is only hours if your baby is born healthy; other times, you may be able to take the baby home with you, depending on the situation you have arranged ahead of time.
One of the most important decisions you can make is about your baby’s actual birth. Do you want the adoptive parents there? Do you want your family there? Is the biological father involved in your life? Should you invite him? This is your body, your baby, your time. Guard it preciously, and don’t feel pressured to do something you don’t want to do.
Make Your Time Special
Whatever you decide to do, include some alone time with your baby. After all, this will be your chance to form memories of them. Many birth mothers report that they talked to their baby and told them stories and how much they were loved. Many birth mothers reported that they never once put their baby down until they had to. Some took a bazillion photos. Some wrote love letters. Do whatever you need to do to have peace in the moment with your baby.
Give Yourself Permission to Cry
Many birth mothers try to stay strong when the hand-off occurs. However, if you need to cry, no one will blame you. Odds are, the adoptive mother will be crying as well, especially once she sees the beautiful baby you’ve created. It’s okay to cry, to laugh, to hug, and to kiss. You won’t be judged, nor will you be called weak. You are the strongest person in that room, putting the needs of your child above all else. Take solace in the fact your baby will be in good hands.
Don’t Leave the Hospital Alone
Once you hand over your baby to the adoptive parents, and they officially take your baby home with them, you will need support. Invite your family, friends, or pastor to accompany you home and be with you for a bit. Odds are, you will be a rollercoaster of emotions: relief that the moment is over and grief that you no longer have a baby. You need someone there to just be physically present. If you have no one, AIM Adoptions will be there. We love our birth mothers and understand the heartache they face when giving up their babies. We don’t ever want you to feel alone. We answer our phones 24 hours a day because we know that sometimes you just need to talk and to express your emotions. A strong support system will be key in the days and months after you hand over your baby to adoptive parents. We’ll be by your side as much as you need us to be.
CHOOSE AIM ADOPTIONS WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE AN UNPLANNED PREGNANCY
AIM Adoptions in Houston has over 30 years of helping birth mothers place their babies in the best families. We encourage you to be as involved as you want to be, from establishing terms of open adoption to having the adoptive parents with you at the delivery. This is your baby and your experience, and we support you in every decision you make. We will help with medical expenses, housing help, transportation, and nutritious food for you and your baby. We want to make this difficult process as easy on you as we can.
AIM Adoptions is a non-profit, Christian-based adoption agency that has very high standards for our adoptive parents. We require a traditional married couple who are financially stable and Christians. They commit to raising your child with love and providing them with everything they need. They also agree to whatever you are asking with regards to the type of adoption and your birth experience. We also explain that their relationship with you may change in the future as your life changes. Most of our adoptive parents understand the hardship you are facing as well.
AIM Adoptions wants to help you with your unplanned pregnancy in Texas. Contact us today to get started!