In the face of an unplanned pregnancy, a woman — and her partner, if he is involved — has to make one of three choices: parent the child, terminate the pregnancy, or place the baby for adoption. Each year in the United States, about half of all pregnancies are unplanned. For many families, making adjustments and welcoming the “accident” is embraced, while for others, the prospect of following through and parenting the child is not only terrifying but seems nearly impossible. Birth parents have many reasons for placing their baby for adoption, and in today’s post, we will review some of these reasons.
At AIM Adoptions, we are a Houston-based Texas adoption agency that has been helping mothers of unplanned pregnancies place their babies for adoption and searching families to find their babies for more than 35 years. We have encountered just about every reason for adoption there is, and we can assure you, whatever yours is, you are not alone.
1. They cannot provide for the child.
Whether it is baby number one or baby number six, the decision to offer a better life for all of the children by not bringing them into economic disparity is a selfless decision. Families looking to adopt are required to be in a position where they can provide the time and more than $250,000 it requires to raise a child for 18 years. Instead of struggling to provide for the child and forcing the child and rest of the family to go without, adoption helps provide both the birth parents and their child with a more secure future. Some common thoughts include:
- My child will have more opportunities
- My child won’t end up in foster care
- My child will have a better life than I had
- My child will have a better life than I can offer
- I cannot handle the special needs this child requires
- I am still a child myself
- I will be a single mother
2. They are not ready to be parents.
Whether due to age, education, career, or a simple lag in maturity, some birth parents make the decision that their child would be better off with parents who are ready to be parents. To set aside ego and recognize their own strengths and weaknesses, birth parents who choose adoption over irresponsible parenting do themselves, their baby, and the adoptive family justice by opting to place their baby for adoption. Adoptive families have put a lot of thought and effort into becoming parents and is not a process that just happens. You can rest assured that if you place your baby for adoption because you are not ready to be a parent, the parents who do raise your child are. Some common reasons birth parents share about choosing adoption because they are not ready to be parents include:
- We are too young
- We are not in a stable relationship
- This baby is the result of an assault
- Adoption allows me to regain control of an unplanned situation
- We are not financially stable
- We don’t have a support system
- Our family is already complete
3. They want to help someone else create a family.
For some birth mothers or parents, the option to adopt is an easy one. For some women, motherhood is not a goal or life dream and some women who face unplanned pregnancies have no desire to be a mother. However, they understand that many other families try and try for what they have accidentally made and understand that they can help these families complete their own. Birth parents can fully understand the joy a child brings and not want that for their own lives. These parents choose to place their babies for adoption without a second thought, knowing they can turn their unplanned pregnancy into something positive and help someone else create their family. Many birth parents are able to recognize that some of God’s gifts are delivered by alternative routes and placing their unplanned baby with a hopeful family is the epitome of selfless, unconditional love.
If you have found yourself experiencing a teen pregnancy or an unplanned pregnancy and are considering adoption for any reason, the staff at AIM Adoptions is here to offer the resources and support you need to make the right decision for you and your baby. Contact us for more information or to discuss beginning the adoption process.