Placing a baby up for adoption is a decision that comes easy for some pregnant woman, while for others, it is a struggle. Usually, when a pregnant woman begins considering adoption, it is not because she dislikes her child or harbors any ill-will, rather the vast majority of women feel that they cannot care for the child — either they are too young, they already have children, they will be a single mother, or they do not have the mental capacity or financial assets to care for a child. As with any life-changing decision, placing a baby for adoption is one that requires much consideration and undoubtedly causes a lot of doubt and fear. In today’s post, we are going to address some of the common fears that mothers considering adoption face.
At AIM Adoptions, we are a Houston-based Texas adoption agency and we have been helping teen moms and women carrying unplanned pregnancies find solutions that work for them and their babies since 1984. Not all of our pregnancies result in adoption because we work with each mother individually to assess her needs and best options. But those pregnancies that have resulted in adoption have been extremely successful. If you are considering adoption for your baby, contact us for the support and resources you deserve.
1. No one will want my baby.
We hear this fear a lot from women who either used drugs, alcohol, aren’t sure who the father is, are pregnant with a mixed-race baby, or from mothers who suffer from a medical or mental illness. The fact is, no one is perfect, and even planned pregnancies don’t come with guarantees. All families who are looking to adopt are well aware of the risks and most families who are looking to adopt are perfectly okay with a baby who may have issues. For those looking to adopt a baby, any baby in any condition is a blessing and an opportunity to build their family and love a child. It is okay and perfectly understandable to be nervous about these things, but just be honest with what the baby has been exposed to. You’ll be surprised at the willingness of prospective adoptive parents to take a child just the way they are.
2. The baby will hate me when it’s older.
Again, this is a very common fear, one that many women struggle with long after the adoption is complete. It is normal, as humans, to feel some sort of rejection or anger upon finding out you were adopted. However, those feelings are usually brief and fleeting when they realize that 1. their adoptive parents loved them so much that they raised a child they did not create with the same love and care as though they had. And, 2. their birth parents loved them so much that they were willing to set aside their egos and make a tough decision to let them go to offer them the best life possible. With open, honest discussion, most children who were placed for adoption are much more appreciative than angry and love their birth mothers more for being brave enough to find them a home that truly wanted them and could care for them.
3. Giving my baby up makes me a bad person.
Some women struggle with the perception that placing a baby for adoption is the same thing as giving up on herself and her child. This feeling can be compounded when the birth mother already has children, is financially stable, or is at an age where many women are building their families. Nothing about adoption is giving up on anyone. Adoption does not mean you love this baby any less than any of the children you may have kept. Unplanned pregnancies happen commonly, and placing your baby for adoption is a conscious decision based on the premise that you cannot take the responsibility of the child and would prefer to give them a life with someone who prayed for a child. Choosing to place your baby for adoption rather than complete an abortion or raise a child you resent is one of the most loving and selfless things you can do. We can almost guarantee that once you meet a prospective parent, you will no longer feel like a bad person, but like the angel that you are. Sometimes gifts from God are just delivered to someone else!
At AIM Adoptions, we have more than 35 years of experience helping both pregnant women and families looking to adopt find the best outcomes. We have helped many pregnant women address their fears and anxieties and match them with resources that help make the best decision for themselves and their unborn baby. If you are facing a teen pregnancy or an unplanned pregnancy in Texas, contact us for the answers and support that you need. You are not alone in this pregnancy, we are right here with you — contact us today!