IS AN OPEN ADOPTION FOR ME?

Open adoption takes on many different forms.  We strongly suggest you look at the characteristics of open adoption before you make a decision about whether open adoption is for you.  As with all aspects of planning an adoption, you should gather facts and then talk to people that you trust to give you good advice.  There are so many misconceptions about open adoption and how it works for the birth mother, the adoptive family, and the child.  Below is a list of facts about open adoption when working with AIM towards making a plan of adoption for your child.

• Open adoption is any form of sharing of information between the biological family and the adoptive family.
• Open adoption can merely be exchange of letters with updates and pictures of the parties involved in the open adoption.
• Open adoption can be the exchange of letters AND phone calls.
• Open adoption can be the exchange of letters AND phone calls AND scheduled visits with the birth parents and the adoptive parents…with or without the child present depending on the preference of the parties involved in the open adoption.
• Open adoption is not co-parenting because the adoptive parents maintain the right to make all of the final decisions about the raising of the child AND about their involvement in an ongoing open adoption agreement.
• In an open adoption, birth parents make a commitment to exchange information with the adoptive parents…to continue receiving information about the child in open adoption, a birth parent must continue giving information about themselves for the adoptive parents to share with the child.
• Open adoption is a free-flowing relationship where the open adoption agreement is verbal between the parties and may be altered or enhanced throughout the life of the child according to the needs of the birth family, the child, and/or the adoptive family. (Occasionally, the birth parents/child/adoptive parents may feel that they need some space and choose to limit or temporarily terminate direct contact)
• Open adoption is a relationship between the birth parents and the adoptive family that is not restricted OR protected by any laws.
• AIM does not accept new families for adoption who are not willing to complete an open adoption.
• Adoptive families are educated about open adoption during the home study process.
• Open adoption is not a benefit that is owed to the birth parents…while open adoption provides birth parents with the assurance that their child is safe and loved, open adoption is mainly encouraged as a benefit to the child because it provides them with ongoing answers to their biological questions.
• Open adoption is an act of faith built on trust between all parties in the open adoption agreement.
• Open adoption is an agreement between the adults directly involved in the adoption…the birth mother and/or birth father and the adoptive mother and/or adoptive father. An open adoption can be between the biological grandparents and the adoptive parents if the birth parents agree to the arrangement.
• The minor child is not a part of the agreement process in an open adoption.